A couple of months ago, I was walking along the beach close to where I live. I was really deep in thought, I had a really bad day at work and really just felt so down (more like defeated) about a lot of things in my life. Suffice it to say I was really going through it and felt the weight of the world on my shoulders. I started to pray, and tears started to roll down my face and I was asking God to show me He is still there. And as I continued to walk, I happen to look down, to the side of me and written in the sand was "Jesus Loves You". I could barely believe my eyes, I know in that moment, this was the message my heart needed most. I needed to know that God was still there and saw me in my time of struggle. I thanked God for letting me know He was still there and still listening. I decided I had gone far enough and started heading home. I looked up, the sky was so beautiful as the sun was setting and there was a cross in the sky. Now, I was smiling. I went from being heavily burdened to feeling a sense of peace and calm. It's amazing how God really does know how to show up when you need Him most!
A few weeks later, I decided to go to South Florida for a last minute trip, its not easy being so far away from where you grew up and all of the familiar things that make a place feel like home. Every once in a while, I need to experience them again and ground myself. I decided to visit one of my favorite churches. I was so blessed when I arrived to find out that it was praise and worship night! I was so excited, this is one of my favorite things about going to church. I have always loved choir and praise team and just singing my little heart out - it is always the happiest moments for me and when I feel most connected to God. But this night, I sang like I never sang before. It's funny how when you are wondering around in a metaphorical desert for so long and then you experience rain, but not just any rain - more like a flood. God's flood of love. That's what happened to me this night. I never cried so hard while singing in my life. It's crazy how a change in environment can make such a difference. When you live in a place where you are constantly being bombarded by negative things, everyone is out for themselves and the "me first" mentality- it really has a way of breaking a person down. We are in a spiritual battle whether we see it or not. I have never been more convinced that we forget how we are not just fighting the physical things we can see but there are other evil forces that are seeking to destroy each of us. I know, for a little while there I had forgotten this fact. I found myself so beaten down but God reached His hand down and pulled me out of the metaphorical mud I found myself sinking in. That night in Fort Lauderdale, was the fresh start that I didn't know I needed. I needed to let go and let God start to give me back my purpose and meaning in life. I needed to be reminded to that He was enough and He was bigger than all my problems and not to rely on humans as much as I was but to lean more into Him. Most importantly, I had to stop trying to solve all my problems on my own. There were far too many surmounting that I could not keep up with the sheer volume. God uses these moments in life to bring us back to that place of surrender.
It was revealed to me once again, everything I have been fighting for had not been in vain that there was a reason for the struggle. There were lessons I had to learn - albeit they painful to go through. In order to grow and transcend where we are, we have to go through a metamorphosis. For me, my heart had been so heavy for so long that I didn't even realize the moment I let it go how light I would feel again! LET IT GO! I love how Jesus shows us He is real through the little things. You just have to be paying attention and listening! He shows each and every one of us that he cares and is watching over us even if we think He isn't. I walked into church feeling like I had been carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders and walked out with a refreshed, renewed soul - a new start!
Part of being a christian is being real and authentic, not hiding when you struggle but speak out so others who are struggling just like me don't feel alone. None of us are perfect, none of us have this thing called life completely figured out. We are all learning as we go!
“It has seemed good to me to show the signs and wonders that the Most High God has done for me. How great are his signs, how mighty his wonders! His kingdom is an everlasting kingdom, and his dominion endures from generation to generation.”
Daniel 4:2-3
Maybe you are reading this right now and you are going through something heavy right and you too feel like the weight of the world is on your shoulder. Can I encourage you? Throw it all down at Jesus' feet. Bow your head and pray your with all your heart. Sing like no one is listening. Let it out, cry it out! He may not give you a message in sand but I guarantee He will show up in a way you never expected. Just remember Jesus is just a prayer an away.
“Unless the Lord had given me help, I would soon have dwelt in the silence of death. When I said, “My foot is slipping,” your unfailing love, Lord, supported me. When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought me joy.”
Psalms 94:17-19