Archive: Seeking Truth- A Dying Art?

If we were created with the inherent intent to have fellowship with our creator – and if we are not living up to this expectation – then I guess the question I pose is who or what is being put in this God shaped space? Can people really say that there is no God? I think instead of looking heavenward for the answer they look inside themselves and make their own being into the god in which they seek. The bible warns of this type of sinful nature – can we honestly say we know what the best thing is for ourselves when we did not create ourselves. Is it possible we could truly and fully know what is best for ourselves? Could we live up to our full potential on our own? How can one answer these questions without knowing who their creator is?? I can say with experience that I thought I knew what was best for myself only to discover I came up empty handed. I pushed God aside and He stood there on the sidelines watching as I made decisions that eventually lead me to the realization that in my own strength I would not be able to keep up with this grueling pace. I found myself tired, worn out and beaten down. This made me begin to wonder, if I came to this conclusion pretty quickly – how do millions of people continue to live in this state (miserable, lost and content to settle into the mundane) everyday? Once I gave everything back over to God and let him have the driver seat I began to have a sense of relief, peace and adventure has once again sparked my imagination. In my brokenness, I came to the realization, that I too had been blinded and dissuaded away from my life’s mission (the purpose) for which I was solely created to do. It is in these moments of brokenness with all your wounds exposed – when you stand before God and say I am completely undone – I need your strength, wisdom and most of all your mercy and forgiveness. In this time, God will reveal some of the most precious, deep spiritual truths. As a result, I don’t look at brokenness as a sign of weakness but rather like an opportunity to change and become a stronger individual with godly character. For me recently, I struggle with feelings of inadequacy; however, I began to learn a couple of months ago that I could use this weakness and turn it into an opportunity to let God’s light be revealed. It is in this inadequacy that I am forced to not lean on my own understanding and strength but rather all that Jesus has to offer and His resources far surpass any I can find on this earth! Ultimately, when that good thing which God has promised to complete in you comes to pass - the power and glory of God is revealed and we are made complete. As I look around me I am excited with my revelation about how awesome God is but saddened at the same time because I know there are so many who have not come to this realization. Instead of trying to learn about who God is they have already judged for themselves that they want nothing to do with Him. How have they come to this conclusion? It is most unfortunate, but many even in my circle of friends and co-workers – have failed to seek truth. Instead they listen to what everyone else has to say on the matter of “religion” and base their own opinion on others opinions. In some strange way, I feel this is a bit like plagiarism; just as someone can get in trouble with the law for stealing someone else’s written work - why then is there not some consequence for stealing others thoughts and calling them their own? Ok, so maybe this is a bit far fetched, but seriously let’s not be a generation that is lazy for taking others word for the truth!!!!!!! Let’s know for certain why we believe what we do and be able to defend it with real solid reasons and back it up with research - like studying our bible. Which brings me to another question – why are people so afraid of the bible? It is my belief they are afraid of change and perhaps having their inner self become transparent before a holy and just God. My favorite part about reading the bible is watching the darkness that once clouded my vision start to fade and once again my vision is restored to clarity. Yes, my inner most and deepest thoughts and sins are revealed. However, I am able at that moment to ask for God’s grace and forgiveness and once confession is made I feel like a new person yet again! It is my hope and prayer to be able to share God’s love with as many people as possible because this is the only way to heal our dying world that is leaning more and more into hopelessness!!!

Archive: A little girl named Rebecca

I heard a story this morning, which God used to gently convict my heart and gently remind me how fortunate I/ we really are to have all of the liberties that America has to offer. Yet, even though we live in the land of opportunity, we still see so many unhappy and sometimes downright miserable people. But why? The worlds standard says having more equates to happiness – then in theory we should be happy. However, this not the case and it can be further concluded that having more does not have anything to do with true happiness and fulfillment in life. If having more does not make you happy what does? I believe it is in discovering God’s purpose and plan for your life and having a relationship with the creator that you will find that fulfilled happy life. For one second, let’s step out of our self centered bubble and take a look at what is really going on in the world around us: like Darfur, Africa where people are literally fighting to stay alive and not knowing each day if this day could be their last.

The story comes from a missionary serving in Darfur, Africa it was a about a 10 year old girl called Rebecca. A small intro /background about Darfur: there is a battle going on between the Arab Muslims and the African Muslims. The Arab’s are fighting and killing the African Muslims and it has been recently deemed as genocide. (the attempt to eradicate a race of individuals) Another major event that genocide was present was with Hitler in WWII when he too tried to take out a “race” of people – the Jews. The thing I found amazingly interesting is that both of these groups called themselves Muslim. However, the African Muslins now are turning away from a religion that seeks to destroy and eradicate them. This is where the story about Rebecca comes in, she and her family were fleeing from the Arab soldiers that where destroying their village. While they were running Rebecca’s mom was 9 months pregnant and was going into labor so they were forced to find a place to hide. In total, it was Rebecca, her mom, 7 brothers and sisters, her step mom and father that had run from the soldiers and where all hiding together. To the horrifying discovery, the soldiers found where they were hiding and opened fire on the entire family. The only one that was not injured at first was Rebecca. Rebecca’s mom told her to run so that her life may be spared but when she did she too was shot and injured. This little girl watched as her entire family was murdered. The people from Rebecca’s village who survived that day found her and carried her away. The injury she sustained was in the leg as her tibia bone was shattered and doctors said that she would never walk again. The missionary who was sharing this story was ministering to the large group of refugees who had fled their villages when he and his wife met Rebecca and eventually adopted her. They felt it was God’s call for their lives to share the love and hope of Jesus to those who were going through unspeakable decimation from the Arab Muslims. God had a plan for that missionary family to meet Rebecca but God also had a plan for that little life to help reach her own people in a remarkable way. With much prayer her leg was miraculously restored – the American orthopedic that they traveled to in Northern Africa said that her bones had healed in such a way that was unexplainable. The doctor said she would with time regain the use of the leg and would walk again!!!! After 4 years, she returned back to Darfur, her home, and spoke to her people about what Jesus had done for her – she was urging her people to give their life to serve the one true God and hundreds upon hundreds accepted the loving and caring God that she had found!!!!

As I heard this story, I was in awe of how much pain and suffering this little girl had been through in her young life; to think at merely 14 years of age God had used her life to change hundreds. God had a specific purpose for her life and he was going to restore not only her leg, give her a new family but also touch hundreds of lost seeking souls with the love that Jesus has to offer. What a beautiful picture! What if we were to imagine the same thing – what purpose does God have in mind for you? Are you running from the call or do you want to serve Him in a mighty and powerful way? God created each of us for a purpose: “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you; before you were born I sanctified you.” Jeremiah 1:1

Once we accept Jesus in our hearts, there is a change that occurs. The type of change that we want to stop living for ourselves and giving in to the things that this world has to offer because we see just how shallow and empty they really are. We start to see the things that we once deemed so important start to lose their value – as they cannot bring the kind of true happiness and joy that God brings into our lives. God knows us so well that once we open our hearts up and say “God I want you to use me” amazing thing start to happen. The first step is to acknowledge that God has a plan for our life and that we were created with a specific and unique purpose: it is in this openness to hearing God that we will find what we seek – a happy and fulfilling life. We will also come to an understanding that it is by faith we trust completely in God and that He will do what He promised in our lives!!!

Philippians 1:6 says: “Being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ” This verse tells us that because we have believed in Jesus who came as a sacrifice to take our sins away that the Holy Spirit lives in us. The Holy Spirit is ready to enable us to do the task that God created us for and He will be there to help us on this journey.

In 2 Kings chapter 4 there was a widow who was crying out to Elisha for help from God. She had just lost her husband who was a faithful servant to God and now there were debt collectors who wanted to take her sons as slaves to pay the debt. Elisha told her to gather vessels which I imagine where some sort of jars -the context makes me think these were precious and perhaps even expensive vessels. She was to gather as many vessels has humanly possible. Then she took her one jar or vessel of oil and did as she was instructed.

“Then he said, ‘Go, borrow vessels from everywhere, from all your neighbors- empty vessels; do not just gather a few. And when you have come in, you shall shut the door behind you and your sons; then pour it (her vessel of oil) into all of those vessels, and set aside the full ones.’ So she went from him and shut the door behind her and her sons, who brought the vessels to her; and she poured it out. Now it came to pass, when the vessels were full, that she said to her son, ‘Bring me another vessel.’ And he said to her ‘There is not another vessel.’ So the oil ceased. Then she came to the man of God (Elisha). And he said, ‘Go, sell the oil and pay your debt; and you and your sons live on the rest.” 2 Kings 4: 3-7

I would like to point out that oil back in that day was similar to today’s world, where people would use oil for cooking, for light, and most importantly for fuel, In essence, this was a very precious commodity. When the woman took her one and only jar of oil and started to pour it there seemed to be an endless supply. God had done a miracle right before her very eyes. It took faith on the woman’s part to believe the man that God had sent her and to follow his instructions which seemed rather odd. The thing I love most about this passage of scripture is that it shows us God’s love, grace and mercy for us. Not only does He have a plan for our lives but He will also give the provisions to enable us to carry out His tasks. This is one example on why we should not limit God but rather we should walk in obedience and have faith that He will take care of our every need. God is able to do immeasurably more than ALL we ask or even imagine. Let’s not put God in a box and confine Him but rather let’s open our hearts and allow God to challenge us to be all that he created us to be! Let’s be like Rebecca and make an impact in this world for Jesus!!!!!

~ALD

Archive: Life's Storms

This past week has been a trying one to say the least. I have never felt so alone, missed my family and my home in Florida more than this week. It’s kind of a funny thing, when I got the job in Boston working for a pharmaceutical company as a research associate – everyone thought I was so brave. The truth is it was a leap of faith as I needed a job and the opportunity presented it’s self – I really don’t think it was so much an act of bravery as it was seemingly a necessity. At this point in my journey, I am wondering was this what God wanted or was it a desperate attempt to find my appointed career path on my own. Have you ever made a decision that you wish you could undo? For me, it very well might be coming to Boston but on the other hand I know I have learned lessons I might not have ever learned and have grown in ways I never thought I would. At the same time, it is becoming increasing more difficult to ignore just how cruel and unkind this world can be. I long so desperately to be around and serving along side my family in Christ back in Florida. I miss the passion and excitement for Jesus in the church services, during worship and everyday life – it sort of leaves you feeling some what “sideways” if you will as life here is Boston is high paced, self centered and down right hectic.

Recently, I have been convicted as I have noticed I too can be like everyone else and get caught in the hustle/ bustle of life. When we get caught up in these ruts it is interesting the first thing that gets cut out is Jesus. He is the one thing we need most during the course of any given day!! I am learning this first hand more and more everyday!

All the more, as I am typing this I know that I am holding on to Jesus tighter than I ever have. I know He is the only thing that is keeping from throwing my hands up in the air when this wicked world threatens to bring me down. It’s an amazing thing that happens when you start getting close to God’s plan for your life: everything that could go wrong starts to. It is an attack to get your eyes off Jesus and I am recognizing it for what it truly is – a distraction!!!! We are, whether we know it or not, in spiritual warfare. It was a year ago last week that I was in the Cambridge Side Galleria – a mall in Cambridge – when my purse was stolen. I lost a lot that day and was despaired more than you could believe as I had no money to get home, no cell phone… After I had calmed down, I remember my devotions that morning and I remember telling Satan to BE GONE!! As Jesus said: “Get behind me Satan! You are an offense to Me, for you are not mindful of the things of God, but the things of man” Matthew 16:23 You are NOT going to steal my joy, my hope or the future plans God has prepared for me. What happened merely 4 hours later was a direct attack back at me to see if it could dissuade me; in the form of my purse being stolen. It was no coincidence in my opinion!

1 Peter 5: 8-11 “Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking to devour. Resist him, standing firm in your faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings. And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast.

This past Wednesday, I was on my way out the door to go to work when I realized that my car was not where I had left it the night before. I was praying for God to give me peace and calmness about everything the day before this happened. I was seeking Jesus to give me peace and rest. I was starting to feel a lot of things coming against me: my application is not getting done anytime fast, I had hoped for more understanding and support from some that are close to me but this is not the case, finances, family health matters and my job has been getting increasingly more frustrating as everyday continues. Then the next day my car was gone. As I was sitting on that pavement in tears where my car had been – I felt the weight of the world coming down upon me I remembered the verse:

“Count it all joy when you fall into various trials knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing. If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives all liberally without reproach, and it will be given to him. But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for he who doubts is like a wave of the sea driven and tossed by the wind.” James 1:2

Although yes, I did find my car - praise GOD!!! But it was only after much panic - I did not know if it had been stolen or simply towed. I remember feeling a sense of complete disorder and chaos at that moment and that nothing made sense!!!!! This situation, forced me to miss a day of work and pay a great deal of money to get my car back -- that was making everything I had prayed for the night before, admittedly, a lot more challenging. Not to mention the reason for which the car was taken out of the parking space that was an extremely frustrating matter and really should never have happened. I guess what I am trying to say is simply that we are in a spiritual warfare and Satan knows just how to devour us and take our eyes off Jesus. He knows how to use the things of this world against us and he will do it any chance he can! I realized through my experience last year and this week how important it is to be so close to Jesus. I don’t want that chaos and despair I felt for an eternity!!!! With Jesus there is a peace, calm and rest that nothing of this world can give. The question and challenge I will leave this post with is: are you going to let Satan get away with his wicked little bag of tricks???? Or will you prepare yourself by putting on the armor of God and fight back with all that is in you?

Archive: Evolution: The attempt to cut God out of our lives!

I am writing tonight with a heavy heart, as I was doing some research for my lesson plan on evolution and creation for my teaching application – I found some downright disturbing facts. Actually, as much as they were on attacks on God they cried out to me as the ranting of bitter and cynical atheists. In fact, I find it somewhat comical that this is how they base their “lack of evidence” theory 1) “If God were to exist, then there would be good objective evidence for his existence.” 2) “There is no good objective evidence for his existence.” 3) “Therefore, probably God doesn’t exist.” (exert from : GOD- The Failed Hypothesis By Victor J. Stenger, 22)

Another one of my favorite quotes from this guys book: “The assertions that science does not study the supernatural and that supernatural hypotheses are untestable are factually incorrect.” (exert from : GOD- The Failed Hypothesis By Victor J. Stenger, 28)

My commentary on this: First he asks, if God were to exist there would be evidence, and then he says without fact or proof that ”probably” God doesn’t exist due to lack of evidence. However, he then goes on to say a few pages to the right that science does not study or test the supernatural how then can he say with certainty that the existence of God is “factually incorrect”????? Does any of this bother anyone else? I mean seriously, this man is suppose to be a prominent scientist or in other words an intellectual thinker and this is what he comes up with. Well, I am at least somewhat entertained by his apparent lack of common sense.

Here is another one from a prominent atheist/ scientist Richard Dawkins: “Faith is the great cop-out, the great excuse to evade the need to think and evaluate evidence. Faith is belief in spite of even, perhaps because of lack of evidence … faith, being belief that isn’t based on evidence, is the principle vice of any religion.” (Is Science a Religion? Richard Dawkins, 57)

Dawkins has forgotten that the evolutionary fossil records are far from complete. If we were to base things on fact- evolution could not withstand as truth due to the amount of holes that are present in this theory. I guess he is also saying that his belief in evolution is not based on faith as well? HAHAHA (good one!)

“There are good reasons to believe in God, including the existence of mathematical principles and order in creation. They are positive reasons based on knowledge rather than default assumptions based on temporary lack of knowledge.” ( The Language of God, Francis S. Collins, 93)

“Science is the only reliable way to understand the natural world and its tools when properly utilized can generate profound insights into the material existence. But science is powerless to answer such questions as “why did the universe come into existence?” “what is the meaning of human existence?” or what happens after we die?”. One of the strongest motivations of humankind is to seek answers to profound questions. We need to bring all the power of both the scientific and spiritual perspectives to bear and understanding about what is seen and unseen.” (The Language of God, Francis S. Collins, 93)

Another point I liked reading this weekend: “Agape or selfless altruism, presents a major challenge for the evolutionist. It is quite firmly a scandal to reductionist reasoning. It cannot be accounted for by the drive of an individual’s selfish genes to perpetuate themselves. Quite the contrary: it may lead humans to make sacrifices that lead to great personal suffering, injury or death, without any evidence of benefit. (The Language of God, Francis S. Collins, 27)

I think the implication of evolution is clear; it is the human attempt to say with certainty that this is how and why the world formed and how we as humans came to be. It is the attempt to say with seemingly good reason that because we can’t see God and don’t have “proof of Him” that he can’t exist. On the other hand, they are over looking the obvious fact that they don’t have all the answers themselves. It appears that in an attempt to find these answers they are reaching for anything that will seemingly explain all of these complicated questions and even the faintest absurdity will be considered as fact. In the process, a lot of these scientists / atheists are mad at God and see him as being a nonsensical entity. They blame God for all the worlds’ problems however can I lovingly remind everyone that it is humans that have caused this on their own. If you honestly think about it - a lot of human suffering is brought about by what we do to one another. It is humankind, not God that has invented knives, arrows, guns, bombs just to name a few. We should not blame God for the consequences of these instruments being misused. Also, we cannot criticize God because He gave us a free will to do as we please. He would not have been a loving God if He had made us His slaves – rather He wanted to have a relationship and fellowship with us. Therefore, we cannot blame God when we choose to use our free will in a destructive manner against our fellow man in any context. I am sure there are many more hardships that humans have created for themselves that God gets blamed for on a daily basis. It is incredibly sad that people turn their backs on God: who created them for a purpose. They would rather sell themselves short by not believing they have purpose and reducing themselves to being merely an animal with instincts. This is the very basis of evolution: if it feels good do it and what is best for you. It is a very heathenistic view of the world which will leave one thirsting for something more.

In my opinion, being a creationist means that you believe that the bible and true science are in full harmony with each other and that there is no need to “check your brain at the door” when entering a church. I could go into more details about how science and the bible coincide but that would make this post entirely too long! Perhaps, I will write that in the future. ;O)

I will leave this post with is a story written by William Paley in 1802.

In crossing a heath, suppose I pitched my foot against a stone and were asked how the stone came to be there. I might possibly answer that for anything I knew to the contrary it had lain there forever. Nor would it perhaps be very easy to show the absurdity of this answer. But suppose I had found a watch upon the ground, and it should be inquired how the watch happened to be in that place; I should hardly think of the answer I had given before, that for anything I knew the watch might have been there …. The watch must have had a maker: that there must have existed at some point in time, and some place or other artificer who formed it for a purpose which we find it to actually answer; who comprehended its construction and designed it’s use. Every indication of contrivance, every manifestation of design, which existed in the watch, exists in the works of nature, with the difference on the side of nature, of being greater or more, and that in a degree which exceeds all computation.”

What are the points being made in this complex writing?

1) The watch is complex

2) the watch had an intelligent designer

3) life is complex

4) life has to have an intelligent designer

“The elegance behinds life’s complexity is indeed reason for awe and for belief in God.” Francis Collins – Head of the Human Genome Project

Archive: Walking With Eyes of Faith

What does it mean to have faith? Is it that thing that we cannot see and we choose to say because our physical eyes can’t see it – it can’t exist or do we say it still exists anyway? Do we discern this with spiritual or physical eyes? A couple of examples to illustrate where I am going with this: we can’t see the wind but does that mean it doesn’t exist? No for one can surely say they can see and feel the effects of the wind. We can see things being moved by this force but can’t see the force by which the object is being moved. What about gravity as another example? If someone where to say hey you know what I don’t believe in gravity and jumped off a building – we all know that would be a very foolish choice based on the evidence provided to us about gravity. They would jump to their emanate doom. Therefore, can it be said that because we can’t see something; that in itself has no implication for something not existing. The same thing can be said about God. Just because we can’t see Him does not mean he doesn’t exist as we can see the effects of God all around us. By the sun rising everyday, the birds singing in the morning, the beautiful blue sky cluttered with big white fluffy clouds to a brightly colored flower swaying in a gentle breeze right down to the stars that light the sky at night.

The bible defines faith this way: “Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” Hebrews 11:1 Another translation puts it this way: “Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.”

Contrary to popular teaching, faith is not mental delusion, presumption or self-deception, but a work of the Holy Spirit and the Word of God. I came across a great quote by C.S. Lewis who is quickly becoming one of my favorite Christian philosophers: “The state of mind which desperate desire working on a strong imagination can manufacture is not faith in the Christian sense. It is a feat of psychological gymnastics." If we can perceive the effects of God: faith therefore is expressed in our certainty that He does in fact exist.

In conclusion, I think faith has two elements: 1) being convinced of the truth, being certain of reality, having evidence of unseen things, and 2) believing, hoping in, and embracing, seizing the truth.

Archive: Fruit of the Spirit: Love

One of the most challenging fruit of the spirit, in my opinion, is love. It is hard to constantly love when you do not see love in return. In Mark 12:30-31 it says “Love the Lord your God with all you heart, with all your mind, with all your soul and with all your strength. And the second is like this “you shall love your neighbor as yourself.” This verse is talking about loving God with all that is in you and wanting to serve and please Him. Also, it says to love your neighbor as yourself. This to me is very difficult due to the human condition. As humans, we tend to look at others and unduly judge them. What we do to others is a direct reflection of what we do to Jesus. We also have to consider, would we want someone to do the same to us?

I have another practical illustration of this: Last week as I was on the train on my way home from work. I observed a very disturbing sight. For those of you, who have ever been on a subway it can provide an interesting array of situations, as you have many types of people and at times a large quantity of people crammed into a small space – kind of like sardines in a can. In this time spent on the train, you can observe people in so many ways and this is what I do everyday. Located directly in front of me was an older man on my right and one empty seat right next to him. When we stopped at our next destination more people entered onto the train; among this group of people there were two college age African Americans. One of which sat down directly next to this man in front of me. Yes, this is quickly going to turn into a discussion about race/color. The college aged kid was wrestling through his backpack filled with books and note books – he was obviously looking for something he could not find. In the meantime, the man seated next to him kept looking over at him with glaring and down right nasty / disgusted looks. The two boys began chatting to one another and everything appeared to be fine as they were not bothering anyone. The man looked at me to see what my reaction was and I simply smiled back at him as if to say everything was fine by me. To this moment, I just can’t understand how and why people can judge someone simply based on what they look like. After all, aren’t we all human? What makes us that much different one from another? We have a brain, heart, lungs, eyes, mouth etc. all the same – can a few different expressions of proteins automatically make a person less than another? The expression of protein I am referring to leads ultimately in determining skin color. We cannot infer good or bad of a person simply based on the external yet this man had already made up his mind about these boys. He did not like them and it was apparent by his looks, body language and his judgmental attitude. In this case, I felt anger towards this man but I realized that the bible tells us to hate sin but love the sinner. I realized here that it all boiled down to love our neighbor as our self. I then thought about how when we do things or think mean / evil thoughts about someone it was like doing them directly to Jesus – nailing him back on that cross. (What a visual huh?) I began to think what would really be the implication on the world today if everyone did abide by this simple truth?

To these boys, I would have dedicated this verse: Matthew 5:44 states “Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.” God will give you the strength to love and pray for those who come against you if He lives within you. This kind of response goes directly against your human flesh –you will need the Holy Spirit to accomplish this seemingly daunting task. Also, we should keep in mind that God loved us first; therefore, we should love others. 1John 4:10 says “This is love: not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.” Broken down this means that God’s love was not dependent on what we as humans do, it was Him loving us first! Even when we struggle in areas of casting judgment against our fellow brothers/ sisters or whatever sin you are struggling with in your life – remember that God loves you and wants to see you victoriously triumph over sin.

In the Ten Commandments, we show love to God by: 1) trusting God alone for everything 2) worshiping God alone 3) not using the Lord’s name in vain 4) by setting a day aside to God.

We show love to others by: 1) respecting our parents 2) being faithful to husband or wife 3) not stealing 4) not coveting someone else’s property. This is found in Exodus 20:1-17.

I think personally, love can make us a better person. If you really love God you will try to obey His commandments and go out on a limb for others. God empowers you to show His love; we are called to be living examples of Christ so that others may know who He is. Being a living example means that we take our relationship with Him seriously! We are to be ready and willing to serve the Lord no matter the coast… this is the true test of what and who you really love and where your priorities truly lie. If we have a growing relationship with Jesus it is my firm belief that all the other fruits of the spirit will fall into place.

Archive: To doubt or not to doubt : That is the question

         Have you ever wondered why one day we are happy and the next day we can feel something completely different?  As I was on my way to work this morning, I was listening to a podcast from Pastor Bob Coy Form Calvary Chapel Ft. Lauderdale his message was about Jesus and how he tries to communicate with his people and that sometimes we are so consumed by looking for an answer to a question we often times fail to see the obvious. This was the case for me this morning – I was thinking about my teaching application and my own thoughts of doubt that crept in. Was I really prepared to teach kids? Would I be a good teacher? As these thoughts passed through my mind I could feel my pulse start to rise and a lump form in my throat – what if this is just too big for me to handle? Then my mind wandered back to my recent trip to south Florida –I prayed during this trip that God would open the right doors so that I would know which way I was to go. He put old friends in my path that I haven’t seen in years from First Baptist - both my middle and high school youth pastors, friends from Highlands Christian Academy where I attended high school and old friends form Calvary Chapel. All of them wanted me to come back to South Florida; as there were a ton of things that they could really use my help with. In addition, I was granted the most fortunate opportunity to meet with a representative from the Broward County School Board – at which time I learned there was a great need for high school science teachers in south Florida. God reminded me that it was not just coincidence; before I even stepped foot on Florida soil the idea for me to teach high school was already becoming a burden on my heart.

I left Florida and came back to Boston to settle back into the mundane grit that has become my life. I started to wonder if what I experienced in south Florida was merely what I wanted to hear or was God truly intervening. It is dangerous ground when we question God - I realized as I was listening to Pastor Bob he was telling a personal story about how God had used various people and circumstances to grab his attention to the very thing he was asking God to reveal – at this moment I realized I too was doing the same thing. It’s like the answer is right in front of you but yet you can’t seem to see it. In my heart, this still small voice said to me – trust in me. In my heart, I said but God what about all of the things stacked up against me? Like location and timing was going to be really off and what about finances????? I prayed and God reminded me of this verse:

Proverbs 3:5-6 “Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.”